You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.
Have you ever noticed... anybody going slower than you is an idiot. And anyone going faster is a maniac.
A man walks into a bar and notices his friend sitting alone staring at a tiny man on the table playing the piano.
"Wow, look how small he is, where did you get him?!" Says the man.
"Oh, well there's this genie round the back of bar, and he grants you whatever wish you want."
Sure enough, the man goes round the back of the bar and there sits a genie.
"You grant wishes right?"
"Yes." replies the genie.
"Hmm, I'd like a million bucks."
Then, out of nowhere, a million ducks appear, and waddle behind the annoyed man as he goes back into the bar.
"Look, that genie gave me ducks instead of bucks!"
His friends sitting at the table replies,
"Well yeah, do you really think I asked for a twelve inch pianist?"
Sorry about the last joke Mom, you said to keep it clean, but as Larry The Cable Guy would say......you have to admit, that there was funny. I'll say 12 Hail Mary's.
I smell gunpowder. Is that a bowling ball ? ?
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